


Pvt Winters' LWA Drabbles

by Pvt_Winters



Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Anything goes - Freeform, jokes about Diana having cabbage hair, pissing on my own Dianakko Week 2020 entries, updated whenever I felt like it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:48:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28835130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pvt_Winters/pseuds/Pvt_Winters
Summary: An assortment of LWA drabbles brought to you by the author of theAtsuko Kagari series.None of the drabbles are set in the AKS unless specified.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. Old Shame

**Author's Note:**

> Here, I'd be posting some funny shorts that are far too short to qualify as short stories.
> 
> That is all. Enjoy!

**Luna Nova library**

It was just a day after the end of the so-called "Dianakko Week", an event started by Lotte and Barbara's so-called " _Nightfall_ Book Club" under Amanda's suggestion to push the "romance" that has allegedly emerged between Diana and Akko by means of encouraging the students of Luna Nova to write "romantic fanfiction" of the two.

Some of these "Dianakko fanfics" were actually pretty good. Others, not so much. But they all have one thing in common: they all ship Diana and Akko to the point of obsession.

Diana sighed after reaching the end of one such "Dianakko fanfic". She just couldn't understand why everyone thought there were any romantic subtext between her and Akko.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Diana noticed Akko standing at a corner of the library, tossing a few sheets of paper into a dustbin. Curious as to why Akko is doing that, Diana decided to approach the brunette.

"Akko, what are you doing?" Diana asked.

Akko, upon hearing Diana's inquiry, frantically dropped the last sheet of paper into the dustbin before turning toward Diana. "Oh, hi, Diana. I was just, uh, getting rid of some trash..."

Diana eyed the papers in the dustbin. "Trash, you say?" She asked with suspicion, noting that the papers clearly have entire paragraphs written on them.

Akko averted her gaze from Diana. "I don't want to talk about the details..." She then said. "Please pretend I was never here..."

However, that didn't dissuade Diana, whose curiosity made her reach into the dustbin to pick up the sheets of paper.

"Diana, please don't read them..." Akko turned her gaze back toward the blonde and pleaded.

But Diana read them anyway, out of curiosity. Within seconds, however, her face went red as a tomato as she read through the things written on the papers.

"Akko, I don't mind that you decided to take part in this so-called 'Dianakko Week'..." Diana then said. "But this... this! How can you depict me in such an _inappropriate_ way?! Especially the whole thing about my... _'secret_ _compartment_ '!" The blonde expressed her outrage. "This is terrible!"

Akko shrunk down at Diana's outraged reaction to the things on the papers. "Yeah, they're terrible. That's why I was throwing them away..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if this counts as funny. But yes, this first chapter is just me pissing on my own Dianakko Week 2020 entries. For those of you who haven't read them: don't bother, because they're as terrible as Diana here would have you believe (and I even orphaned them all to boot).


	2. Cannibal Cabbage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, for a drabble that actually is funny.

**Luna Nova cafeteria**

It is lunch time, and every student and staff in Luna Nova are having their lunch in the cafeteria.

Diana sat by herself, with her lunch being a bowl of cabbage salad, which she ate with proper Cavendish etiquette (TM).

"Yo, what's up, Princess?" Amanda passed by, and greeted Diana. "You're having lunch?"

Diana said nothing as she chewed the cabbages in her mouth. Then she swallowed.

"I thought that should be obvious to you, O'Neill." The blonde responded.

Amanda responded back with a snort. She then approached Diana's table.

"What's this?" Amanda said as she eyed the bowl of cabbage salad. "You're having cabbage for lunch?"

"Have you any issues with that?" Diana asked as she picked up a leaf of cabbage with her fork.

"No, it's just that-" Amanda suddenly started giggling. "I never thought of you as a cannibal, Princess."

The cabbage leaf that was speared by Diana's fork stopped just short of reaching her mouth, as the blonde paused. "Cannibal? What are you talking about?"

"A cannibal who doesn't even know she's eating her own kind. This is so funny..." Amanda said as her giggling turned into laughter.

Diana remained seated at her table, confused even further by Amanda's statement.

It would take an explanation from Akko later in the day for Diana to realize that Amanda was making a joke about how the tea green streaks in her platinum blonde hair made it look like strands of cabbage.


	3. Watch Your Mouth, Daryl!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one contains very strong language typical of Scottish people, so reader's discretion is advised.
> 
> It's also presented in a way reminiscent of a meme. So...

**Living Room; Cavendish Manor**

It is a very normal day, and everyone in the Cavendish Manor are just minding their own business.

Bernadette stood by Diana's side, as she watched her play with her Shiny Chariot action figures; Daryl sat on a couch, reading the newspaper; and Anna stood at the sidelines, awaiting orders from the Cavendish women.

As she sifted through the newspaper articles, Daryl came across one whose subject drew her ire.

_"US ambassador to UK condemns Defense Minister Blackwell's anti-witch rhetoric, claims it 'encourages genocide'."_

Daryl let out an exasperated sigh upon reading that article. "Hmph! I cannae believe that Blackwell idiot is speaking out of his behind again." She complained. "Fooking coont."

Bernadette, upon hearing her sister spitting out such a vulgar language, gasped in shock and quickly covered Diana's ears, before dragging the little Cavendish girl out of the living room, instructing Anna to take her to the kitchen to "let her have her snacks". Then she turned back to Daryl.

"Daryl! You cannae use such horrible language! Especially not in front of my little Cabbage!" Bernadette chastised her sister.

Daryl lowered her newspaper before answering, "Well, it's not my fault that little rascal is right there when I am right here."

...

**Front Lawn**

Several days later, Diana is out practicing her magic, and Bernadette decided to watch her, while Daryl is there just because Bernadette insisted.

"Look at her. Trying her best to use magic like a witch of the House of Cavendish should." Bernadette mused.

"She doesn't seem to be having any success, though..." Daryl pointed out.

At the same time, Diana swung her wand at the squirrel that she was going to transform into a rabbit. But no matter how many times she swung her wand, and how many times she shouted the spell, nothing happened.

"Why isn't it working?!" Diana complained. She looked at her wand with her eyes furrowed. "This wand must be broken! Fooking coont..."

Bernadette gasped in shock again when she heard her little daughter repeating the same profanity that Daryl let out days ago.

"Well, well..." Daryl can't help but find the sight of a little girl like Diana using such a powerful vulgarity to be funny. "Children these days..."

Mere seconds later, Bernadette turned to give Daryl a furious glare, before she threw a punch at her own sister.


End file.
